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The
Rev. Donald Lee is founder-pastor of Kingdom Living Christian Center, a
fledgling ministry established in Beaumont and transitioning in the
Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex. The Rev. Lee also is a free-lance
journalist with nearly 20 years of professional experience. He writes
inspirational columns that appear in newspapers and Web sites
nationwide and he writes promotional articles for ministries,
businesses and other organizations. By Donald Lee The Lord has placed it in my heart to marriage and relationships. With national statistics showing that roughly 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, it is my prayer that this column serves as a tool through which God brings restoration into marriages that are on the brink of separation or divorce. Also, I pray that it serves to be further confirmation to married couples who are already working the Word and enjoying the fruits of their labor, living a life of bliss together, a result of making Jesus Christ the foundation on which their marriage was built. Moreover, I pray that this article blesses those who are single (or divorced) but need guidance on how to discern when they’re in a God-ordained relationship or one that the Lord has absolutely nothing to do with. And to those persons who have no intentions on getting married or remarried, the principles shared — if adhered to — should help enhance your ability to communicate in other relationships, such as those with your family members, colleagues, neighbors and anyone else you come in contact with. Now, ladies and gentlemen, a Word from God: In a message he preached on Dec. 13, 2009, “The Sleeping Giant Awakes,” Bishop T.D. Jakes, senior pastor at The Potter’s House in Dallas , said something so profound that it begs for the attention of every married individual as well as singles who aspire to be married (or married again). “Love seeks not its own, it’s not puffed up, it’s not about you, it’s not about what you need, it’s not about how you’re being neglected, it’s not about the attention you’re not getting,” Bishop Jakes said. “Love seeks to serve somebody else, (it says) ‘How can I make things better for you?’ ‘How can I do things for you?’ ‘How can I use what I have to make your life better?’” Bishop Jakes said. “Love is not about you,” he said. “Lust is about you. Love is about somebody else. Lust is about ‘What can you give me? Give it to me now.’ Love is about ‘What can I give you? How can I serve you?’ “And when somebody loves you, it’s a ministry,” Bishop Jakes said. “They don’t even have to say anything … if you get in the presence of somebody who loves you, it is a ministry. Love is a ministry. “It’s not the chicken soup that made you well,” Bishop Jakes said. “It was the loving hands that prepared it.” Pastor Bre Eaton, my 4 a.m. prayer partner who also is an associate pastor at God’s Guiding Light Christian Center in southeast Houston and a Beaumont native, said Bishop Jakes’ comments are on point, adding that if people are going to be in meaningful, loving marriages or relationships, there needs to be a clear understanding of the difference between love and lust — selflessness and selfishness. “A lot of times, when we look at love we only see the surface, like characteristics and traits, instead of actually loving the person,” Pastor Bre said. “For example, you can have a person who is a take-charge type of person. And you could look at that (characteristic or trait) and be attracted to that, but the inside (that person’s inner spirit), upon getting to know them better, could actually reveal self-centeredness, selfishness, that person’s true character. “Love goes deep. If you look at it, it actually goes from dethroning yourself and it actually elevates the person that you say you love,” Pastor Bre said. “You’re putting yourself to the side and your attention is focused on the needs of that other person. For example, it says, ‘How can I put myself in position to be a blessing to you?’ Also, too, when you think of love, it’s the largest investment you’ll ever make in your life next to stocks and bonds on Wall Street. “When you compare it to 1st Corinthians 13, the biggest investment God ever made in us was love, according to 1st Corinthians 13 and John 3:16,” Pastor Bre said, referring to scriptures dealing with the depths of God’s love. “God not only invested His time, but He invested His Spirit, a part of Him. When you think about that, He poured everything into us through love. God’s trusted love is the only thing that’s fully reliable and dependable. In other words, we have the guarantee that His love never fails.” Don’t be deceived, people. Any marriage in which one person is making far more (emotional or love) withdrawals than deposits is a marriage that is in desperate need of counseling. And if you’re in a courting kind of relationship and one person is in constant “gimme” mode, that’s a clear indication that that relationship needs to be dissolved. The Rev. Lee's free-lance articles apear in The Weekly Press in Baton Rouge; La Vida News-The Black Voice, which is published in Dallas-Fort Worth and Houston, Texas; the Oklahoma Eagle in Tulsa, Oklahoma; North Lawndale Community News in Chicago, Illinois; Guidry News Service in Galveston, Texas; DeCuir Magazine in Baton Rouge and CUSH Magazine in Beaumont. |
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